So, you might say Ben and I are absolutely insane - and there are times when I've asked myself what in the hell we're thinking - but our house recently sold (ahhhh) and we have to move out in a few short days! Did I mention that our baby girl is due in five short weeks?! Yikes.
We listed our home this last June for shits and giggles, just to see what would happen because we've been DYING to get closer to Ben's work. Especially once our daughter makes her debut, I just think it would be invaluable to be nearer to his office so he can spend as much time as possible at home with us. As is, his office is about a 40-minute drive away. If we were closer, that's almost an hour and a half of more time he could spend with his baby girl every day. See, invaluable.
Anyway, so we listed on a whim and literally got no bites all summer. We were about to take our house off the market because we were getting too close to D-Day (delivery day) when we got two offers at the same time (the day before we were going to take it off the MLS). What are the chances?!
Needless to say, I have been having a hard time letting go - mostly because my nesting mode had already kicked in and I had already begun to imagine our lives in this home with Baby L. The room where we had set up her nursery is now my favorite room in the entire house and just brings me all the warm fuzzies every time I walk past it or enter. But I have to remind myself that this is a good thing because it gives us the opportunity to move closer to Ben's work, like we have been wanting for a longggg time.
So what are our plans now? We are going to move into a rental home (sadly, it's even further from Ben's work haha) for about a year while we build our new home. I am so excited for the building process (I love that stuff) and can't wait to design our next home together with our future babies in mind. PS, stay tuned for the build process because I am excited to share it all with you.
So now, we have to say goodbye. Goodbye to the home that has been ours for the past four years. The home that we fought for and built our family in... just not the one we will raise them* (yes, there will be future littles) in. So in light of saying goodbye, I thought it would be fun to share with you all a little home tour.
And by the way, capturing your house before you move is a really fun way to memorialize all of the memories you made in the place you called home for a time.
So without further adieu, let's start our home tour in the coziest room of all...
When we purchased this home, we decided to make it feel more like "ours" by taking it from its former Tuscan-style glory (i.e. travertine floors, yellow walls, gold granite countertops, and brown cabinets, carpet etc.) and turning it into what it is now. So before moving in, we added hardwood floors throughout, marble countertops and bathrooms, painted the cabinets, banister, and walls, and added new light fixtures and expanded the master bathroom.
These additions made a HUGE difference in the look and feel of the home, and we have just loved living here the past four years. It's honestly the first home we've had that I've felt really attached to and sentimental over. We have made so many wonderful memories in this home and we went through A LOT together within these walls fighting through IVF and, finally, carrying this sweet little baby of ours to (almost) term.
The Master Bathroom
Our Living Room
Part of the reason I fell in love with this home was that this room had so much beautiful natural light. When you walked in the door you could just feel the warmth and happiness of the sunshine (and of course, I loved the high vaulted ceilings).
The Powder Room
We chose to add a white mirror and painted the powder bathroom in a turquoise and white stripe pattern with a large marble tile floor.
I'd love to tell you that I spent more time in here haha, but honestly, with the exhaustion that comes with IVF (and pregnancy), which pretty much sums up the last four years of our lives living in this home, I mostly ended up working from the couch in the family room. But I love that this office stares right out into a cute little park in front of our home.
The Dining Room
We loved having friends over for dinner and sitting in this cute little dining room. The rock accent wall was original to the home when we moved in and we chose to keep its charm.
In the kitchen, we added a marble chevron backsplash and countertops and I don't regret it one bit. If you're thinking about adding a marble countertop in your home, I really do recommend it. We haven't had any issues with stains, mainly because when we installed it I had asked our fabricator to create as many "cutting boards" from the remaining marble as he could to leave out on the counter to set drinks and such on. We will definitely be doing this in our next home.
Our Family Room
This is where I spent a lot of my time while working from home. Some days, and yes, even in Arizona, I would turn on the fireplace and throw on a show to make it feel cozier while I worked with my puppies next to me. Ben and I snuggled on this sofa every night and have watched countless movies in this room. (He also gave me all of my injections in this room hah).
But there is no other room in this entire house that I will miss more than this nursery. For a long time, it brought me a lot of sadness to walk past it every day. So much hope had lived here. The first time I got pregnant and before we had lost our first set of twins I had purchased two cribs (I later returned one), the glider chair, and the changing table, and every time I walked by it over the following two years it just became a sad reminder of all that we had lost.
But then we got pregnant again (for the third time) with what will soon be our first little miracle angel and this room has been filled with so much love and joy, I can't explain it. I find myself just coming in here and sitting, rocking, folding her little clothes with the biggest smile on my face. Somehow, sometimes I end up on the floor, staring at the ceiling, marveling at how far we've come and just how very lucky we are that we get to become parents to this sweet little rainbow baby in a few short weeks.
It's been really hard for me to be able to say goodbye to this room.
It is a beacon of hope. A beacon of miracles. And holds so much love.
But it also kind of feels like, in saying goodbye to this room, I have to say goodbye to our two sets of twins that we lost.
This room holds the only remnants of them. All that could have been. And I don't know that I will ever feel ready for or capable of saying goodbye in my heart. And I am crying as I write this. Because they were, and always will be, our little angels. And there is a little bit of heaven in this home, in that room.
But as my husband reminds me, their sweet souls are always with us, wherever we go, no matter our address. They are in every smile, every laugh, every rainbow.
And while I have been waiting four long and painful years to finally bring our children up in this room, I am looking forward to FINALLY having the opportunity to properly decorate our angel's nursery, wherever that may be. Because it does mean so much to me to be able to do that. So many hearts that ache for a child never get this opportunity, and I just thank my lucky stars every single day that we can. And when I do, I can't wait to share it all with you. So stay tuned for what's to come. Because our miracle is on her way!